I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.
George Brett
Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.
Jim Murray
The only sure rule in golf is, he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
Mickey Mantle
Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy, even if you're not good at them.
Kevin Costner
I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge, and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
The ball retriever, is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
Brian Weis
Swing hard, in case you hit it.
Dan Marino
My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt.The rest can never be mastered.
Lord Robertson
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
Jack Benny
There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
Ben Hogan
Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.
Jack Nicklaus
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law.
H.G. Wells
I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
Billy Graham
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
Bob Hope
While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Henny Youngman
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
Jack Lemmon
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich, that neither of their husbands work.
Lee Trevino
I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
Lee Trevino
