I'm still trying to come to some kind of understanding about death. Someone very close to me just died, which is why I had to go to France suddenly. It still leaves me empty even if it has not been the crushing experience that was the loss of my son, this was my step son. He had been depressed, and it had spiraled down, and he took matters into his own hands.
The wife, and it was her biological son, tells me he's happier now. He was in a lot of pain before, I understood that. I didn't think he was quite there. His psychiatrist of several years died from cancer and he couldn't find a person he was comfortable with and then quit his meds.
I don't like it. My parents have passed on, but they were both 93. I sort of get that. I just spoke with another man my age whose son just died of a heroin OD. He was crushed, but said he half expected it at some point.
I keep wondering what I could have done differently. My step son and I were close but he had just drifted away over the past couple of months.
